sept 5

if i had to put an overall feel on life right now, I'd have to say it's going pretty well. i love all my classes at moorpark. i could be taking more, i could study more. it's nice for now. after a summer of unemployment and job mess ups, I've found a niche that works. my friend Lindsay recommended me to a family and the family to me for a babysitting job. after meeting them once, they gave me a key to the house and now i pick up the kids 3 days a week. the 10 year old girl and 7 year old boy are so friendly and funny that the 4 hours I'm there fly right by. I'm amazed at how active they are, unlike so many kids. the family is in Oak Park, among so many huge house with 3 car garages, but they're really nice people. i honestly feel really blessed for just circumstances and knowing people that lead you to other things. six degrees of separation, i suppose.

at the same time, yesterday was an emotional day in the friend department. i can't get too detailed about either situation, so apologies for the over usage of they/them/their. one friend may be really sick, and when they brought up the big 'C', luckily i was wearing sunglasses because i started crying. i stopped that soon because i didn't want to make them sad, and soon we moved on to other subject. but it's scary, and it hurts my heart to know it's even getting close to that. that it's even a possibility. please pray hard. later that evening, i got a phone call from another friend that moved away in early august. we hadn't talked and out of boredom one day, i was perusing old myspace bulletins and saw they had voluntarily checked themselves into treatment. it was a worst fear, last possible wish for that friend. still, i can't even describe how happy i was to hear their voice on the phone, to just know that they're...here. my friend described the situation to me and said anytime they were feeling sad, they would look at a present I'd given them for Christmas and start laughing hard. just goes to show that you can never underestimate the power of a gift. the phone conversation made me cry, again. sucked too because i had to depart from a s'mores get-together at Courtney's house... I'm hanging out with my friend when they get back, and it's going to take work, so any help or advise (definitely prayer) is greatly welcomed. life, through any given day and any interaction can take you down a different path. it could be a conversation with a waiter at Denny's, a psychic at the gas station, or just new people that you meet through others. so pay attention, and don't things lightly, yet don't over analyze... uh erm I'm probably just talking to myself here.

sorry if the tone of this came off as sad. it's just serious and worrisome. life is still beautiful and even recently times when I'm sick or upset, somehow i still thank God. he and i are bonding, me and friends he's introducing me to. Andy's having a creative day Saturday and i could pee my pants, I'm so excited. and good news people, it ends at 6 when there's still light outside, so this time i won't end up in Van Nuys, having to call kyle to find my way home! new friends want to come to Marty's college group, which will be fun. i love when people can be friends with others immediately, when they're open to new situations. not that there's anything wrong with being private. i love all types of people! i also like when parties die down, allowing real interactions to occur, night swimming, laughter, and talks about the universe.

countdown to new season of the office : 20 days!