secret #1 : not so much a secret because it involves telling people things. at work i tell customers that our competitor's store smells weird. truthfully it does, but i realize it's not nice to do.
secret #2 : i'm extremely hard on myself about things. i probably wrote a similar post or it might've been in my real journal, i don't know. but i've made a huge effort in God knows how many years to be nicer, less judgemental to people. just eliminate fighting as much as possible. if someone screws up and apologizes a million times, i'm there telling them 'no problem' 'its no big deal' 'de nada.' but when it comes to things i mess up on...i get so upset, and angry. i really don't know why. take for example when i failed my driving test the first time, which is a situation where only you affect your success or failure, i safely made it home [it was raining and i was crying], my dad went in the house and i stayed in my car for about 40 minutes. the whole time, i screamed, and cried so hard. "you're so stupid! God, we prayed that i would pass this! how could this happen?! who fails their driving test?! EVERYONE GETS IT! YOU'RE SO STUPID!" horrible things like that over and over. the second time, i tried to avoid that so i got on my bike and headed to the top of the santa rosa trail in wildwood. people were the last thing i wanted to run into, and that's who i found. luckily it was no one i knew, a bunch of old people, but at times like that, i don't want to even pretend to be nice. and today, my mood has again been strongly affected by my own screw-ups. today, i realized, was the last day to take math and english assessments for moorpark, something i of course have put off. i first thought it wasn't working but it was just our security blockers. once i got through that i tried to use the pin number they sent me. that didn't work, so after 3 tries i saw on the side the page said i had to come into the school and talk to the people at the front desk. this was at 4:00, and moorpark offices close at 3:30. i drove over there anyway [cursing like a sailor], to find no one that could help me. the whole ride home the only time i opened my mouth was to include the f-word relating to anything going on on the freeway or streets. so now, i have to wait until monday to go to moorpark and figure out the assessment thing. of course sunday [that's the day before monday] is the last day to finish those and upon completion be eligable for early registration. and because there's so many freshman, classes fill up fast and i'll be stuck in crappy classes [i don't even know which i have to take]. more than likely with my horrible luck, i'll be stuck with people from my school who are also lazy and i can't stand. i'm trying to get ahead in college and already i've fallen behind, and i haven't graduated yet. and it's all my fault, so i'm extremely angry with myself. my head hurts immensely. although i know it'll blow over and i'll accept the situation, i've failed on something i've waited for for so long. and my dad will be so pissed cause he can't tell his friends that i did early registration like they recommended. i hate life right now.
secret #3 : i gossip too much, more than i should.
secret #4 : i got a girl at my work in trouble and i was happy about it.
secret #5 : i don't think i know enough about God and the Bible to educate others on it, and i think i'm too dumb to absorb all the information people might ask me questions about.
secret #6 : i mostly want to graduate college so i can create a better life. better might be the wrong word because it implies arrogance, but just a happier one would be nice.
secrets aren't all they're cracked up to be.
Friday, April 25, 2008
Sunday, April 6, 2008
improper undergarments
well I'm leaving for outdoor school in 1 week, and when i got home from a Peru meeting tonight, i had a [i think] great idea. basically if you know me, you know i get annoyed by screeching little girls, or over-sexed youngn's. i dunno, I've always acted older than i am so maybe they're just acting their age. but definitely in the last decade, girls have been growing up faster and faster. i remember i was at Claire's in the mall for some reason and there was a girl no older than 9 wearing uhm...undergarments meant for older women. it's not right.
and so to do my little bit to hopefully positively influence these 6th graders for 5 days, I've decided to make a little card/thing they can put on their wall. I've been picking up card stock or scrapbookng ideas from Andy [i actually don't know what to classify it as..cool cards?] so I'll have their name on the front, all spiffy, and inside each I'll have something like 'Laura's tips for adolescence survival (and beyond!)' and just put little things that they can look at if they're having the inevitable troubles of growing up. my friend made me a card for my 16th birthday, which for some reason was a crappy day. it's creative and has all this positive stuff on it, so now whenever i look at it, it really helps. and so by being their counselor, sharing how i live my life, being nice and sincere, and helping them remember all this through the cards, i hope something good will come out of it. if only at least they decide against doing something stupid because of advice i give them.
really, the main reason i decided to post this was because I'm on my dad's part of the computer and i don't feel like saving cornball quotes to his documents. keep in mind, these will be arranged awesomely and creatively, so they won't look as pathetic as they might on this page. if you [faceless reader] have any to add or want to criticize against some, be my guest.
In three words I can sum up everything that I learned about life, "It goes on." When the going gets tough, make yourself realize that no matter what your problem is, someone is and always will be fighting a harder battle.
Tears don't help problems and whining won't make things better. Have faith but understand that faith makes things possible, not easier. Have hope but understand without doing anything nothing gets done.
Be there when people need you, because in order to have friends you must first be one. Make the impossible, possible. Never give up! You only fail when you fail to try. Keep an open mind; you never know what you may learn.
Never compromise your standards for anyone, do it for you. Remember that laughter makes the world go round. Beware of the person who has nothing to lose, see through the problem to find the solution. Don't make promises that you can't keep. Keep in mind, those who gossip to you will gossip about you. Say only what you mean, and don't believe everything that you hear because some day the story will be about you.
Everyday is a gift, even if it sucks. Count your blessings, not your troubles. Never waste an opportunity to tell someone that you love them, because you never know what tomorrow has in store for you. Give people a second chance, because no one is perfect. Love all that you can, give all that you have, smile away your days, and dream away your nights.
Life, what a wonderful thing!
_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_
Annie Dillard: How we spend our days is, of course, how we spend our lives.
Bertrand Russell: The good life is inspired by love and guided by knowledge.
Corita Kent: Love the moment. Flowers grow out of dark moments. Therefore, each moment is vital. It affects the whole. Life is a succession of such moments and to live each, is to succeed.
Dorothy Thompson: Only when we are no longer afraid do we begin to live.
Elbert Hubbard: Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive.
George Eliot: What do we live for, if it is not to make life less difficult for each other?
Joan Baez: You don't get to choose how you're going to die. Or when. You can only decide how you're going to live. Now.
Norman Vincent Peale: Live your life and forget your age.
Oscar Wilde: To live is the rarest thing in the world. Most people exist, that is all.
Stephen Covey: Whatever is at the center of our life will be the source of our security, guidance, wisdom, and power.
Winston Churchill: We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give.
Do everything. Love as much as you can. it may hurt but it helps us grow. Give all you have...you may be poor but you will be content. Always forgive....your heart can not afford not to. Teach what you know and learn what you don't. Stay open to all”
and so to do my little bit to hopefully positively influence these 6th graders for 5 days, I've decided to make a little card/thing they can put on their wall. I've been picking up card stock or scrapbookng ideas from Andy [i actually don't know what to classify it as..cool cards?] so I'll have their name on the front, all spiffy, and inside each I'll have something like 'Laura's tips for adolescence survival (and beyond!)' and just put little things that they can look at if they're having the inevitable troubles of growing up. my friend made me a card for my 16th birthday, which for some reason was a crappy day. it's creative and has all this positive stuff on it, so now whenever i look at it, it really helps. and so by being their counselor, sharing how i live my life, being nice and sincere, and helping them remember all this through the cards, i hope something good will come out of it. if only at least they decide against doing something stupid because of advice i give them.
really, the main reason i decided to post this was because I'm on my dad's part of the computer and i don't feel like saving cornball quotes to his documents. keep in mind, these will be arranged awesomely and creatively, so they won't look as pathetic as they might on this page. if you [faceless reader] have any to add or want to criticize against some, be my guest.
In three words I can sum up everything that I learned about life, "It goes on." When the going gets tough, make yourself realize that no matter what your problem is, someone is and always will be fighting a harder battle.
Tears don't help problems and whining won't make things better. Have faith but understand that faith makes things possible, not easier. Have hope but understand without doing anything nothing gets done.
Be there when people need you, because in order to have friends you must first be one. Make the impossible, possible. Never give up! You only fail when you fail to try. Keep an open mind; you never know what you may learn.
Never compromise your standards for anyone, do it for you. Remember that laughter makes the world go round. Beware of the person who has nothing to lose, see through the problem to find the solution. Don't make promises that you can't keep. Keep in mind, those who gossip to you will gossip about you. Say only what you mean, and don't believe everything that you hear because some day the story will be about you.
Everyday is a gift, even if it sucks. Count your blessings, not your troubles. Never waste an opportunity to tell someone that you love them, because you never know what tomorrow has in store for you. Give people a second chance, because no one is perfect. Love all that you can, give all that you have, smile away your days, and dream away your nights.
Life, what a wonderful thing!
_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_
Annie Dillard: How we spend our days is, of course, how we spend our lives.
Bertrand Russell: The good life is inspired by love and guided by knowledge.
Corita Kent: Love the moment. Flowers grow out of dark moments. Therefore, each moment is vital. It affects the whole. Life is a succession of such moments and to live each, is to succeed.
Dorothy Thompson: Only when we are no longer afraid do we begin to live.
Elbert Hubbard: Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive.
George Eliot: What do we live for, if it is not to make life less difficult for each other?
Joan Baez: You don't get to choose how you're going to die. Or when. You can only decide how you're going to live. Now.
Norman Vincent Peale: Live your life and forget your age.
Oscar Wilde: To live is the rarest thing in the world. Most people exist, that is all.
Stephen Covey: Whatever is at the center of our life will be the source of our security, guidance, wisdom, and power.
Winston Churchill: We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give.
Do everything. Love as much as you can. it may hurt but it helps us grow. Give all you have...you may be poor but you will be content. Always forgive....your heart can not afford not to. Teach what you know and learn what you don't. Stay open to all”
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