Once

I finished watching Once today (followed by a lifetime original movie, yikes), and I have to say although typical movie elements were missing, such as names, it was really good. I didn’t know how to describe the film until I went to special features and watch ‘making of a modern musical.’ It’s set in Ireland and shows the brief friend relationship of a guy, a Hoover repair man/troubadour and a girl who picks up jobs here and there while selling roses on the side. The main thing I noticed about it is how people in Ireland live, at least in the context of the movie. They walk mostly everywhere besides a few bus rides, the girl doesn’t have a home phone and neither have a cell phone, they both introduce each other to each other’s parents after just a few days, they become friends very fast, not even considering the other’s faults. There’s no yelling in the movie that I can remember… And it all just made me realize how congested life in Southern California is.
For the last few days I’ve been trying to imagine what growing up in small heartland towns would be like. Teenagers would probably learn how to work in whatever industry the area is known for and they’d live there all their life. Or they might be from a city atmosphere and have some options, but mostly what I can imagine is desk jobs. Here, roughly a half hour from LA, we’re used to technological advances and the best of the best. LA, along with New York, Japan, France, Bejing, or Paris are the largest cities in the world. My econ and APS teachers have each said that California has the 5th largest economy in the world,that our golden state could detach from America and be just fine with everything we have going on here. I still haven’t been able to fully grasp my mind around that. And here, we analyze the crap out of EVERYTHING. Just click on dr. phil, or hell, myspace. On myspace there’s a place for you to talk about yourself, your favorite music, movies, activities, books. All that is doing is picking apart our brains. Inspiration comes from a composite of all these things, and I think I’ve managed to put that in my room. But these internet dating sites, with people saying ‘we are similar in columns A, B, C, AND D’…it gets rid of chemistry, I think. Days are broken up into schedules, with “6-7: getting ready, 7-9: video production, 9-10: math, 10-11: English, 11-12: econ, 12-1:lunch, 1-6: work, 6-6:30 errands; 7-8: homework; 8-9: tv, 9-10: get ready for bed". When can we schedule in time to enjoy life? Of course I’m only 17 and most days I have about 8 hours of free time, but the earlier hours of my day I’m stuck at school, 3 of which hours I’m around people I just am beginning to not tolerate, and 2 where me and two of my friend have legitimate creepers (formerly known as stalkers.)
If I could do it, it being life, my way, there wouldn’t be so many schedules or clocks. There wouldn’t be penalties for being late, and every second of the day should be a moment to enjoy life. I’m not quite sure what I’m getting at here, because I know plenty of people that have fun in every situation and oh how I envy them, and am trying to be more delightful as them. But I feel I’ve put myself in to 3 hours of absolute seclusion that I hate, and only in those other 21 hours of any given day can I have an opportunity to be myself, which includes loving to interact. Maybe this goes out to the people I don’t make an effort to talk to, mostly because of sporadic, crippling shyness. But my God, I cannot wait to experience life as they have in Once, with no restrictions and compartmentalizing of ideas. Just pure brilliance, as ‘the guy’ says many times… I just wish I could’ve been that free for all of my life, rather than timid from the time I was little. Child development will be a fun class to see how that happens, why some kids are more outgoing than others. Or it could just be a major mind trip.
Oh, and these creepers are really freaking me out. I hate people that just stare at your when they are absolutely clueless on your repulsion of them. There’s several in my mass media class, but I guess that’s what me and the other 4 girls in the class get for being around AV nerds.
AND on another note, my art academy project was due last Thursday and I haven’t been able to concentrate on finishing it up and making it into a kick butt light box made from a stolen school locker. Hopefully I can work on it after bibble studay, at night when my mind is sharper.

Echoes

Well, I got my driver's license! And just in time, because if I hadn't gotten it, I would have more than likely gone mad. The first time I drove by myself I tried to go visit kimbriana estel at work, but she was off at her other job by then. So I just kept going down Moorpark, got to a light that said Camarillo 10 <- and off I went. It was probably one of the best times of my life. Such perfect was music playing, for some reason great KROQ reception, and the sun was up and heading down. It was just amazing. The next day I ran errands and almost got run over several times... but I’m fine. Wednesday I worked and tried to keep busy with cleaning tables and whatnot, but luckily Kareem and heather came in to paint some samples [alien head and mouse] and kept me busy. Some lady also came in and gave me a coupon for a really great deal at a salon. And I would give more details but you'd all probably think I’m a fool for taking it even though it really is a great deal. I don't have much to say... I’m still hating my classes even though people aren't outwardly mean or anything. I’m just kind of there like a bump on a log, constantly reminding myself either how many minutes left in class [despite my math inadequacies, I’m pretty quick at calculating time left in class] or thinking how college life is going to be so much better. But I still have however many days left. And I missed senior ditch day on Friday, so with most of my friends gone, I was just left like…whatever. Wow what an emo sentence. I dunno, I’m still trying to improve on procrastination and just being a lazy teenager, and using ‘and’ too much in my writing.

I’d always known that Fast Times at Ridgemont High was based on a book by Cameron Crowe, but never looked into it. So Saturday I did, and found that there were only 3,000 copies printed originally, and the cheapest I could find was a $100 one on amazon.com. I’m really considering getting it, or will just save up for when I have a larger income, or if they decide to reprint it. I just really want to read it so badly…

I get really annoyed by insincere people. People that will lie to your face and you can see it in their eyes, or behind your back and you just wish they’d told you the truth originally. And I can’t stand condescending people. There’s a girl I know that’s like that and she’s just always correcting me. She seems like the nicest person on the planet but the tone she’s always correcting me in just bugs me like a fly buzzing around me nonstop. Other people just thank her for being so nice and I just wonder why they can’t see through it. Maybe I’m wrong and she really is a genuinely nice person, but she just rubs me wrong and I can’t figure out why.

Well if anyone could read that proverbial chicken scratch, all the power to you, because I’m not even going back and reading it.


Listen: echoes, dar williams